Cami; age 1. I remember nothing.

Cami; age 2. I remember my birthday party. I have crayons that fit on the top of your fingers. They went with a racecar colouring book. I remember meeting Joey. I remember the sunshine streaming through the window in the summer.

Cami; age 3. I remember art projects... getting my hair brushed in a blanket in the yard. Melting crayons. Making cake. I used to sit outside in my moms garden bed and sing 'ding dong the witch is dead" while eating her chives. My sister was born. I remember sitting in the court yard at the hospital, back when I was not afraid of those places. I fell of a bench and broke my green, star shaped sunglasses. I had chicken and dumplings in the cafeteria there.  I held her after she was born.

Cami; age 4. I remember the week I turned 4. I ran about telling everyone how great it was to be 4 years old. I was so happy. I never wanted to turn 5, I would watch reading rainbow everyday it was on. I would sit in the rocking chair by the kitchen and watch my mom mop the floor. the sun was all around. I could hear a breeze throughout he open back door. I could smell the garden throughout the window.

Cami; age 5. I remember starting kindergarten. I wore a pink dress with flowers on it, and black and white shoes. My hair was down. I loved my teacher, and I had only 1 friend. Philip. He is in a mental institution now. He taught me to play checkers, and how to build with blocks. I miss him sometimes. I sat alone at recess. I liked to swing.

Cami; age 6. I had a lovely birthday. I cried all day, the first day of 1st grade. I was afraid that I would never come home. I didn't know what bus to take. I remember the big clock on the wall, and the alphabet across the top of the room. I remember doing a lot of drawing in that class. I won many contests, many prizes. It was that year I stopped caring about competition.

Cami; age 7. I stopped liking birthdays this year. they just stopped being a special day to me, and started being just another party. I had a teacher who's initials were the same as me.

C. R. W. I felt connected with her from that. I did nothing this year that I feel is important to this story. some years just don't bring intuition, and are for vacation. this was one of them.

Cami; age 8. I get bored this year. life seems boring... I am not learning anything new that I can feel is a big step, except a few things. I learned that nobody can like everybody. But you can love anybody.

Cami; age 9.  I met melody. I remember moving here. I had a terrible year, I became more bored and more depressed.

Cami; age 10. More depression.

Cami; age 11. New friends. I got lost here. I lost myself.

Cami; age 12. More confusion. I did not think a real thought about anything that matters this year.

Cami; age 13. I came out of depression, just to make mistake after mistake that would drag me right back down. Then towards the end of the year I woke up and became happy. I found love, as in the love for all things. And I have been learning ever since.

Cami; age 14. This year has been long... I grow tired of this all and yet I am only 14. Is it all so depressing... I am happy still, and I think that is doesn't matter WHO you are with, but that you are happy with them. And in that case, I am very happy right now.

Cami; age 15. As for my alleged happiness, well, as I always say, nothing lasts forever.  Bloody hell. I like a boy, but he thinks im too young. and being the nice person I am , and rather amazed at how nice of a person he is (age is a line that most boys wont draw) I guess im just going to have to be his friend. I don't know how long its going to take, but nobody can resist me forever. *evil laughter*

As I sit now and imagine myself reflecting on this in the future, I think if I were to just go with the flow, and accept my fate I would be sad about it later, "I wonder what would have happened if I had just gotten to know him better, and waited till I was "old enough""

I would regret being hi friend if I were to get put down by this ad mope around, because he is such a cool person, it would be my loss to be upset.

I would rather keep things the way they are than alienate him.